Here is a tale of an epic success and an epic fail.

Success: Jessie cuts Moses’s (hm, your name is plural; never encountered this before) hair over a bin with regular craft scissors after M&A. Classy right? I know, impossible is nothing. I made it happen.

Look at that stunning hair. A work of art! I should frame that and keep it in case if I ever decide to make it a profession.

After, we headed out for Phil’s first American burger experience.

Fail: Phil eats a burger wrong. This makes every mistake on my end tonight- wrong directions, tripping over nothing, following the wrong server to the wrong table, etc…- justifiable.

Granted, let’s give Phil some credit. He just sat through a 20+ hour flight from Canberra, Australia. He’s pretty jet-lagged/tired from walking around all day… alone. All he wanted was to experience a true American burger.

Bill’s Classic With American Cheese served with lettuce, tomato and pickles on the side ($5.95)

There it is. It couldn’t look anymore American. But Phil ate the burger without realizing that the lettuce, tomato, and pickles are meant to actually be in the burger. By the time he had a bite left, we realized.

Me: “Wait, why didn’t you put that in the burger?!”

Phil: “It’s supposed to go in there?? I’m a rookie, I didn’t know!”

Moses: “Oh, I thought you did that on purpose”

Phil: “No, I thought maybe that’s how you Americans make your salads.”

It’s okay Phil. You have 4 more weeks left to find and eat another burger the proper way.

Fat Cat caramelized onion, American cheese on an english muffin served with lettuce, tomato and pickles on the side ($6.95)

Si and I went to Burger Joint this past weekend, and we both agreed that Bill’s is definitely better. On a scale from 1 to 10, we ranked the Burger Joint burger at a 6.5. Si ranked her Fat Cat at a solid 8. I thought it was interesting how it was served on an english muffin. That double slice of cheese looked awesome though.

Tuscan Turkey Burger freshly ground and mixed with aged provolone, served on a whole wheat bun, lettuce, tomato and chunky cranberry sauce on the side ($6.95)

Pros:
  • Really interesting combination of flavors between the ground turkey and provolone. Definitely flavorful and juicy with each bite
  • The chunky cranberry sauce was heavenly. It felt like Thanksgiving, but in a burger. Actually, I wouldn’t know since I’ve never done the turkey and cranberry shebang, but, I imagine it would be.
  • I liked how the bun was actually whole-wheat
Cons:
  • The burger itself was a bit salty. Perhaps from the aged provalone?

Overall, a delicious relief from the normal beef burger. Highly recommended!

French Fries ($3.50)

The fries are fresh cut everyday and were better than Burger Joint’s and Corner Bistro‘s. They were almost reminiscent of Pomme Frites.

Phil: “Do you have Freedom Fries?”

Server: “What’s that?”

Does anyone else not know what Freedom Fries are?! Considering how Bush coined that term, I almost had to bow my head in shame. Fellow Americans…

There you go- another place with a decent burger and fries for around $10. The server was extremely nice and helpful in answering our questions. Still doesn’t beat Shake Shack though!

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22 Ninth Ave.
New York, NY 10014
Near 13th St.  See Map | Subway Directions

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